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This week: Why get drunk and forgot you stole one mandolin when you can get drunk and forgot you stole two mandolins? Plus a man tries to LARP at a Remembrance Day Event and no situation ever gets resolved by trying to run over children, except "not being in jail" ...

This week: A case of rogue monkeys on the loose is complicated by "AI," a Waymo decides it wants to be a choo-choo and a store in Germany is invaded by sheep ...

This week: LeBron James learns that sometimes the best thing is the world is someone to tell you "no." Also this week, just because you steal the Lyft driver's care doesn't make it a rideshare, and the thing about trying to fight the cops with a front loader is the front loader doesn't want to fight ...

This week: When you've stolen a $30,000 harp, what's your next move? Jumping into a freezing river totally naked, of course! Plus what happens when you decide to fix your car via the hardware aisle at Lowe's and if you find someone else's cocaine at sea, no you freaking didn't ...

This week: Luke joins us for remedial chemistry (i.e., why blowtorch + gas line = bad), why aquariums aren't all-you-can-fish and if you're going to romance a vacuum cleaner, maybe do it indoors ...

This week: Allegations arise that Winter Olympic skiers have discovered a novel way to increase ... performance. Also this week, a man combines a unicycle and a gun into a novel crime and the release of "Melania" has the US military ripping off MST3K ...

This week: A crook on the run can't resist Olympic hockey even if it gets him arrested, a would-be tool thief discovers he can break in but he can't break out, and we find out that pickleball is serious bidness, y'all ...

This week: We look at a real estate listing that takes us on an unscheduled stop to the Backrooms, a man's attempt at retribution fails as he can't recognize his ex-girlfriend's car and a man finds a solution to committing crime: let the dog do it!

This week: Press 1 for English, Press 2 for a computer with a bad Spanish accent. Also this week, a cop claims he sees a woman texting with her phone in a hand that doesn't exist and going to the car wash with a spool of high tensile wire in your truck bed can get really expensive ...

This week: Just how bad is your campaign for Florida governor when it gets you banned from every single Waffle House? Also this week, your teachers were probably weirder than you could possibly imagine and if you leave your bag of weed and cash laying around it's probably not wise to come back for it ...

This week: If robbing six banks doesn't get you enough to pay for a PS5, maybe crime isn't for you. Also a dog becomes a rat by digging up potential murder evidence and if you want to confront the FBI it's best not to do it via random human remains ...

This week: We learn the difference between "backward" and "forward," something very important to master before you drive on the highway. Also this week, someone stole a truck full of Bud Light and we're not sure why, and the TSA shutdown hasn't affected one Florida man, because he just drives onto the runway ...

This week: Taking dead things off the side of the road and putting them on top of your car? Welcome to the new American normal! Also this week, a Canadian commits a dark hockey sin and if there are thousands of Mormons holding a conference then streaking might not be your best move ...

This week: We've got yet another major LEGO heist! Seems like we're going to get a whole new criminal empire built on little plastic blocks. Also this week, for $2 a minute you can talk to your own personal messiah (as long as it doesn't hallucinate) and sometimes cows just go through a chiropractor's window I dunno what to tell you ...

This week: Sometimes a hundred naked men will happen and no one knows why! Also this week, tourists attempt to ride elk because apparently their insurance is way too good and a purse thief ends up with a Faberge egg and a lot of trouble ...

This week: Is it possible to get banned from every single ALDI? Maybe, if you take off your pants! Also we find out Tesla's autopilot does a worse job than a drunk driver and groping the God of the Sea turns out to have expensive consequences ...

This week: We got embezzlement by way of macaroni at the Chik-Fil-A, shots fired at the Taco Bell and a plane collides with a bakery truck but nobody's seriously injured. It's a weird one, folks.

This week: If the truck you sent to fill the potholes itself ends up filling the potholes, is the job complete? Also the answer to attacking a minor is not "he started it" and seniors are getting all kind of wild hobbies these days, like making explosives at home ...

This week: If you're 14 and get caught stealing a bus three times, maybe you should just get a bike. Also a woman fakes her grandfathers death complete with forged death certificate to get a plane ticket refund, and discount landmines! Buy a war crime today!

This week: What's the best way to deal with a neighbor's pesky drone? FIRE! Also when stealing Pokemon cards a man chooses "chainsaw," and WWE Rage in the Cage or kindergarten graduation? You be the judge!

This week: Naming your Bluetooth speaker "BOMB" mid-flight is gonna get this plane turned around, son. Also this week, if you've said "Do you know who I am" to a 12 year old you've already lost and the Road Closed sign does in fact apply to you, as does the wet concrete it was blocking ...

This week: Your place in line at the drive-thru is not determined by your altitude. Also microwaving fish is enough to get police officers to pull weapons on each other and a chest freezer does not make a good munitions dump ...

This week: As your attorney, I recommend against pretending to be an attorney to the cops. Also a pair of cops playfully pulling guns on each other turns out exactly how you'd expect on this show, and RAM might be expensive but it could save your life from a dog with a firearm ... wait, what?

This week: A man can't get his mother to pitch in for rent, so he drives his SUV into a pool. We're as confused as you are. Also this week, hackers send out a warning to Brazilians that the aliens are here and if your sunglasses fall into an open chemical toilet trying to get them back may not be worth it ...

This week: If you're going to throw out fireworks, make sure they're not still on fire. Also if you're in the middle of a robbery and your car is stolen the cops will not be your friends and if you end up running from police, maybe don't hide under their marked patrol car ...

Special thanks to TranceWarp for saving the recording! This week: Party bus is in the house tonight ... literally, it crashed into a house. Also stealing the decorative plants from the mall becomes a new white people crime and just because the fireworks look like a mortar launcher doesn't mean you shoot them from a moving car ...

This week: Sometimes when you're at a railroad crossing, you might look up and see a naked man. What?! Also if your boat rage accident sends your wife overboard you might not even need to worry about jail and spending eight hours inside a port-a-potty tank for a bottle of Mountain Dew sounds like a new level of the Inferno ...

This week: Want someone to pay for your surplus sex dolls? Trick a school board! Also if the car you just broke into contains a Secret Service badge it's time to call it a night and not only are women not impressed by doing donuts, they're less impressed if you smash a hydrant in the process ...

This week: I've heard of a "box office bomb" but calling in a bomb threat at a theater is ridiculous! Also a Minnesota man has an innovative way to keep the kids off his lawn: spike strips! And a man decides to get away from it all ... by climbing into an abandoned power plant smokestack ...

This week: Of all the reasons to fight the government, "naked anime girls" is certainly unique. Also this week, a small-town mayor tries to be a big-time narcotics trafficker and a bride-to-be tries to deal with cold feet by setting the church on fire ...

This week: Luke joins us for when a criminal takes "going back to the scene of the crime" all the way to the punchclock, an adult toy shutting down DC traffic for 2 hours (what stamina) and the only things certain in life are death and parking tickets ...

This week: A whole bunch of people at Target apparently thought a child minstrel costume was a great idea, a seven year old's father leaves his son behind to climb a mountain and turning your frat house into a drug operation is gonna make pledge week awkward ...

This week: A man has stolen more Pabst Blue Ribbon than you can drink in a lifetime, and oddly enough it's more than one can. Also this week, don't try to solve your legal troubles by impersonating the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and "parental guidance suggested" does not mean supervising your kid's fight club ...

This week: Last week it was PBR, this week 70,000 pints of Guinness were stolen! We have some very ambitious alcoholics out there. Also slashing an entire apartment complex worth of tires is going to ruin your NextDoor stats and asking ChatGPT how to plan a mountain expedition is not a good idea ...

This week: Maybe don't offer zoo patrons a kid's visit to the tiger exhibit called the "Child Predator Tour." Also be careful when you pick a fight that you haven't just enraged a martial arts instructor, and when the answer to "where's my car" is "up there," you have a problem ...

This week: Kicking and biting the flight attendant will take you from First Class to no class in a split second. Also this week, a failure to silence a cell phone in a movie results in a pepper spraying and a neighbor comes over to visit ... through the wall ...

This week: Putting a GPS tracker on the lady distributing Pokemon cards should give someone pause, but it didn't. Also a man tries to escalate a dispute about drones into a murder-for-hire, and when you gotta go, you gotta send your car right through the front doors of a grocery store ...

This week: A teacher attempts a side hustle by way of extra credit for cash, a family spat goes from flying crockery to gunfire, and what happens when you try to turn furniture into a vehicle ..

This week: A traffic pole is knocked over by the power of dog pee, a criminal steals $50 million in crypto to spend on Pokemon cards, and a woman pretends to be a substitute teacher so she can tell the kids she hates them ...

This week: Winnie-the-Pooh's 100th birthday gets off to an auspicious start, a woman's emergency med exam ends with locked doors and 911, and even scientists are dim enough to try to fool people with "AI" ...

Apologies for the rough audio. I cleaned it up as best as possible, and I've identified the plugin that went nuts and fixed it. This week: A horse walks into a bar ... no, really! Also why no matter how hard you try you'll never be Walter White and in Florida if the cops find you deceased, they might just steal your house ...

Time once again for the best of the worst of the year's sexy Halloween costumes!

This week: It's the show after Halloween, and you know what that means! No, not discount candy. Plus an ambulance driver knocks off for the day with a patient in the back and one of the wildest rampages we've had in years ...