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Christopher Lambert comes to 80s New York after wandering the world for centuries and dueling immortals just to keep his head on - literally. Also, Sean Connery plays a Spaniard. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

California housewife Demi Moore has to track down Hasidic rabbis and condemned killers to find out what's wrong with her unborn baby and how it relates to the apocalypse. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

The improbable Canadian Alien rip-off. A gooey alien with big chompers explodes out of an astronaut's body and chases the cast around a place that could be a spaceship. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

Superbowl special with NFL player & actor Fred Williamson. Burt Reynolds puts a pyramid on his private parts in this love triangle flick between two NFL players and the team owner's daughter. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.

Superbowl special with NFL player & actor Fred Williamson. The classic disaster flick featuring the national anthem and a crazy sniper who attacks the LA colosseum during the Superbowl. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.

Superbowl special with NFL player & wrestler Kevin Greene. A brutal satire of American football that, according to Kevin Greene, most accurately depicts what being in the NFL is really like. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.

Superbowl special with NFL player & wrestler Kevin Greene. Imprisoned quarterback Burt Reynolds organizes a match between the inmates and their guards in the only prison movie ever made with 47 solid minutes of football footage. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.

Superbowl special with NFL player & actor Fred Williamson. An all-star cast (including the ex-footballer Jim Brown) of convicts is offered freedom if they complete a daring mission behind enemy lines just before D-Day. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.

Superbowl special with NFL player & actor Fred Williamson. Mobile Army Surgical Hospital unit uses humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in this classic anti-war flick culminating with a football match featuring Fred Williamson. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.

Superbowl marathon with NFL player & actor Fred Williamson. Another showing of the classic prison football movie made without Fred Williamson, even though it was him who brought the original idea for it to Hollywood. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.

Superbowl special in Miami's South Beach concludes with the movie "South Beach" directed, produced and starring Fred Williamson. A tough former cop and football star finds himself in trouble, and gets his old teammates to jump in. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.

Yellow goo galore when the Tall Man returns to his old tricks: taking corpses into his mortuary and turning them into killer midget monks. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

The film that Brian De Palma made after Carrie, and it's sort of like Carrie, but everyone dumped on it for being cheap, far fetched exploitation. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

A widow and her handicapped daughter move to a house where the reality warps everywhere with bloody faucets and talking pizzas vomiting goo all over your face. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

A sensitive romantic tale of an alien cop who drags his love interest around while he chases an alien criminal around the disco. Just in time for Valentine's. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

A couple of Australian character actors help a wild and sexy gal with a heir on her tummy escape extinction by the pope and president of the United States. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Werewolves learn to line dance at a county western bar filled with bad jokes and regulars who are played by the actual locals of the town they filmed this in. Joe Bob gives it ½

Man summons yellow intestine creatures and two midgets offer to serve him forever. The best Gremlins rip-off featuring midgets in serious dramatic roles. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the bathroom, the little pus monsters show up at a carnival, blending in with other freaks, killing slutty carnies and geek high school students. Joe Bob gives it ★★

Zachery Ty Bryan of Carrie 2 fame joins in for this showing of the film that made Stephen King a horror movie legend. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

We're all dying to know what the final days of Laura Palmer were like. Featuring the usual David Lynch bizarr-o-rama and gratuitous David Bowie. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

Mark Hamill double feature. Astronaut Mark Hamill goes through a vortex wormhole, lands on a farm in the 90s and tries to figure out how to save the world from being destroyed 30 years from now. Joe Bob gives it ★★

A special showing of a mini-series about the handsome & charming notorious serial killer Ted Bundy who eventually fried in the "old sparky" in Florida. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

John Wayne's son fights all kinds of Harryhausen monsters as he goes to the end of the earth to turn a baboon back into a prince. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

Harry Hamlin fights all kinds of Harryhausen monsters in a film that’s either one of the greatest achievements in stop-motion filmaking, or a cheap grade B camp classic. Joe Bob gives it ★★

Horny teens decide to spend the night inside a funhouse where a horny mutant carnival freak has something unsavory going... and the bodies start dropping. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

Easter showing of Toby Hooper's horror classic where, just like the J-man, the dead are restless. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

Captain Kirk feels old and Ricardo Montalban gives him grief with many threatening long distance space calls. Also, Spock meets his maker at one point. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

William Shatner is an astronaut whose recent trip to Venus causes him some temperature problems. Joe Bob gives it ★★

Leonard Nimoy gets a curmudgeon lawyer to defend a robot accused of murdering his creator. A cross between Frankenstein and Perry Mason. Joe Bob gives it ★★

A stranger rides into town to protect its people from evil banditos... only these banditos look like refugees from west Hollywood leather bar. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Italian Road Warrior rip-off where a bunch of bikers and a UPS truck filled with a Darth Vader drill team take over an oil refinery from some ventriloquist tough guys. Joe Bob gives it ★½

Yul Brynner helps Max von Sydow defend his vegetable garden in 2012 NYC, where the plague has somehow eaten up the pavement and people kill each other for a string bean. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

Two guys who hated each other 'till the world got nuked drive the Oscar Mayer Wiener armored battle truck to reach the place that might save mankind - Albany, NY. Joe Bob gives it ★★

People are dying in the Atlantic ocean with giant teeth marks in the brains again, but the city council won't believe Roy Scheider that the shark's back and he's got a disguise. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

Celebrating Mother's Day with the kiddy demon flick where the monsters are about 1ft high, and their 27ft mama is on her way to your back yard. Joe Bob gives it ★★

Wes Craven's flick actually filmed in Haiti, where Harvard guy goes to study voodoo-fu, but the chief of secret police starts jumping into his dreams like reggae Freddy Krueger. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Rod Taylor travels to year 802701 (give or take), where bunch of aryan zombies are bred for lunch by the ugly pus monsters living underground. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

Malcolm McDowell in a tweed suit chases time traveling Jack the Ripper to 1979 San Francisco, where one more serial killer is no big deal. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

Bridget Fonda is an underdressed psychopathic CIA hitwoman sharing a beach house with her surfer boyfriend in this American remake of La Femme Nikita. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

A sentimental favorite of Joe Bob in which Michael Caine plays a troubled cartoonist having a hard time dealing with his hand getting hacked off. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

Alec Baldwin takes out Nicole Kidman's ovary in this big hoo-ha medical malpractice thriller. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

What if French intellectuals directed a Freddy Krueger rip-off about a guy slaughtering families with 7 year old kids. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

TNT thought you needed to see Back to the Future again, so guess what? We're going Back to the Future! Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

Back by popular demand, Stephen's King biggest embarrassment where a bunch of trucks go haywire because of a comet. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

Despite complaining through the whole thing last time, TNT is making Joe Bob show the pathetic sequel to the talking baby big box office hit in which Bruce Willis voices the "monster." Joe Bob gives it 0

Christopher Lambert wields a sword and picks up chicks for 400 years, then Sean Connery teaches him how to fight his way through immortality. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

A gunfighting stranger comes to the small settlement of Lago. After gunning down three gunmen who tried to kill him, the townsfolk decide to hire the Stranger to hold off three outlaws who are on their way.

The origins, exploits and the ultimate fate of the James gang is told in a sympathetic portrayal of the bank robbers made up of brothers who begin their legendary bank raids because of revenge.

Joe Bob's Summer School: Pre-Med 101 with a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. Kenneth Branagh sticks the brain of John Cleese into the body of Robert De Niro and wrestles him in KY jelly until De Niro takes off. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

Joe Bob's Summer School: Pre-Med 101 with a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. Mad scientist witnesses his kid brother's death and years later starts crawling through hospital air ducts, jabbing anyone who gives him attitude. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

Joe Bob's Summer School: Body Building 304. Grace Jones and Wilt Chamberlain join Arnold as he gets blood on his deltoids in almost every scene. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Joe Bob's Summer School: Applied Aeronautics with former Air Force captain Rusty. Retired Air Force colonel Louis Gossett Jr. has to save the family of gorgeous bodybuilder Rachel McLish using outdated planes. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

Joe Bob's Summer School: Advanced Primate Studies with an ape suit actor. Astronaut Charlton Heston lands on a planet that looks suspiciously like the desert outside of Vegas where he's captured by talking apes. No rating or drive-in totals.

Joe Bob's Summer School: Advanced Primate Studies. The kinder and gentler sequel. Kinda like Star Trek IV where they go to modern day San Francisco... but without the whales, or beaming up, or San Francisco. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

Joe Bob's Summer School: Cinema Studies 101 with director John Waters. High School musical about an early 1960s dancing chubster who misbehaves her mama and becomes a pro integration cha-cha idol. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Joe Bob's Summer School: Cinema Studies 101 with director John Waters. Early George Lucas coming of age flick about cruising around Modesto, CA, drag racing and listening to wolf-man Jack. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Joe Bob's Summer School: UFO Studies 666 with actress Anne Francis. Leslie Nielsen and a crew of whiskey loving, horny astronauts land on a planet where the only survivors are Walter Pidgeon and his gorgeous daughter. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

Joe Bob's Summer School: Food Science 504 with chef Wolfgang Puck. One of the most requested films in the library... and not by the kiddos, but by the goofy grown ups. No rating or drive-in totals.

Joe Bob's Summer School: Food Science 504 with actor Clint Howard. The old tale of a neighborhood ice cream man who sometime makes special flavors out of the body parts of murdered children. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

William Shatner, founder of the Church of Satan and others star in the Satan worshiping epic best known for being the first flick to feature face disintegrating goo. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

Pregnant Frances McDormand is on the case of a Minnesota car salesman William H. Macy who arranged to have his wife kidnapped by Steve Buscemi. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

One of the finest Anna Nicole Smith action thrillers featuring 3 Playboy playmates and CD-ROM to the forehead ever made in Las Vegas. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

Elisabeth Shue takes a couple of brats to Chicago where they get harassed by one armed truckers, car thieves, mobsters, gangs, frat boys, and squarely headed blues musicians. Joe Bob gives it ★★½

Bunch of yuppies go into a cave and get chased by a pepperoni faced Bigfoot who makes kung pao chicken out of human organs. Joe Bob gives it ★½

One of the greatest horror movies ever made featuring dive bombing seagulls. Tippi Hedren joins during the first break. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Mel Brooks' great 1993 come back spoof of Robin Hood in general, and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) in particular. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

John Phillip Law and his baggy pants wearing crew take Caroline Munro on a search of some magic thingy and fight Ray Harryhausen monsters. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

Nair Witch Project Halloween Marathon begins. Another showing of Brian De Palma and Stephen King classic featuring a mother from hell and pig's blood jubilee. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Nair Witch Project Halloween Marathon part 3. A big haired kid sees the Tall Man take a stolen corpse to his mausoleum for some embalming of the natural kind: we're talking yellow goo city. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Nair Witch Project Halloween Marathon part 4. Same deal - the Tall Man is taking corpses down to his mortuary and turning them into killer midget monks. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

A hardened New Orleans cop, Dave Robicheaux, finally tosses in the badge and settles into life on the bayou with his wife. But a bizarre plane crash draws him back into the fray when his family is viciously threatened.

Sinister Gary Oldman tries to give Winona Ryder an involuntarily transfusion in Francis Ford Coppola's big budget adaptation of the neck biting, blood sucking classic. No rating or drive-in totals.

Mel Brooks puts Leslie Nielsen in Gary Oldman's wigs and leaves gaps for the laughter, otherwise it's the exact same movie as the one before. Joe Bob gives it ★★★

One of the greatest navy recruiting films in history featuring an extended volleyball match and a dead Goose. No rating or drive-in totals.

A milestone in horror film history that mixes a real case of exorcism with green pea soup. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

One of the strangest and most beloved of prison movies featuring picturesque prisoners and sewage swimming. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Two rich guys make a bet that they can turn a street criminal Eddie Murphy into a rich guy, and a yuppie Dan Aykroyd into a street criminal. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Tom Hanks is drunk and Madonna plays baseball with Geena Davis while most men are away fighting in World War II. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½

Dustin Hoffman discovers how hard it is to be a woman after he puts on a dress, bonds with Jessica Lange, strips of for Teri Garr, and fights off numerous horny guys. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

Jennifer Grey goes to Catskills with her family, starts dancing on logs and sleeping with the help while wearing increasingly skimpier ensembles. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★

The always great telekinesis high school prom classic featuring some real "transfer your weight from one foot to the other" dancing. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★