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Criss Angel's real last name is actually Sarantakos, which is a Greek word meaning "For 15% off of your next Hot Topic order of $60 or more, use coupon code FREAKD at checkout".

Was there really a movie a while back with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah about a taxi that transformed into a race car or did I just dream that? Yes, I've heard of Google, but I'm asking you!

If I ever get sent to jail, first I'm gonna tattoo my entire body with an intricately disguised blueprint of the prison so I have something cool to look at while each gang takes turns beating me with a sock full of padlocks.

The Law and Order franchise gave many of today's biggest stars their very first opportunity to perform opposite a puddle of semen for a national audience.

Everyone thinks they're smarter than a fifth grader until the day they find a way out of their cage and the whole damn sheriff's department starts tracking mud all over your cabin.

I'm not saying that the release of "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" caused bin Ladin start planning the attacks. But when you throw in "Steal My Sunshine" and "Mambo #5", you can kinda see where he was coming from.

I'll wait for the even shorter "Hobbit" edit that's just eleven minutes of grainy footage of Peter Jackson drunkenly screaming "Give me back my life!" at JRR Tolkien's exhumed corpse.

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