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The reprobates from Scumbag College test their mental dexterity against Footlights College on a TV quiz show - but not before Vyvyan loses his head.

The gang are desperately short of cash, forcing Neil to get a job. The army turn him down but he gets on surprisingly well being a police officer instead. Meanwhile, Vyvyan announces he's pregnant.

It's an ordinary evening: Neil's having a bath, Rick's reading Cosmopolitan, and Mike and Vyvyan are trying to watch video nasties. But before the night is over, the gang will have to bury a vampire.

Neil gets kidnapped by a medieval knight, while Rick believes he's finally managed to seduce a woman.

A bout of illness puts a strain on Vyvyan's usual easygoing approach to communal living. The somewhat delicate matter of Rick's lost virginity raises further consternation.

Summer term at college has ended, but Mike didn't know it had even started, and the boys have all summer to laze around. But Mr Bolowski evicts them, and they decide to rob a bank.