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Reggie's reckless behavior causes him to lose the title of Honorary Chief of Police to Archie, and to show him up, Reggie tries to prove that Sabrina is responsible for recent locker room vandalism.

The gang starts a car wash. Dilton finds a way to make it more efficient utilizing computer-age technology, but things go wrong.

The kids are placed into jobs. Sabrina and Big Ethel work at a construction site; Reggie and Moose work as moving men; Betty and Veronica work at a beauty salon; Dilton and Q work at a restaurant; Archie mentions he works at a car wash. Later, everyone gets into the act at P.T. Boredom’s circus, where Jughead found employment.

While visiting the mediaeval fair, Carlos remarks that he doesn’t believe Merlin the magician was real, causing Sabrina to accidentally conjures him up.

After the gang agrees to paint Miss Grundy’s house, Reggie and Moose arrive four hours early in an effort to hog all the credit.

Lightning interference causes Dilton’s genealogy experiment to go awry, whisking Carlos’s quixotic ancestor, Don Carlos, away to the present.

Hot Dog digs up trouble for the Archies when he unearths a lamp containing Teenie, an old magic schoolmate of Sabrina's.

Ronnie and Clyde pursue Q through a toy shop.

When the gang ends up shipwrecked on Pirate’s Island, they find themselves contending with an alligator, parrot, bear, shark, and a pair of ghosts on a hunt for a fabled treasure.

Reggie is upset that his friends won't let him direct an animated film for Miss Grundy's class, so he sabotages the production, and then switches the film for his own cartoon.

The Archies run Carlos's family restaurant while his parents are away in Mexico.

After Reggie embarrasses Veronica at the school dance, Dilton offers to test their compatibility with his computer, but Reggie tries to sabotage the experiment. To get even, Dilton transforms his robot sidekick Q into android Miss Q Tee, who charms Reggie and accompanies him to the next dance.

Miss Della tries to get even with the Spellmans for forgetting her birthday, unaware that she's sabotaging her own surprise party.

An homage to “Archie's Funhouse” finds Dilton introducing his funhouse-in-a-box, which explodes into a series of rapid-fire gags.