Poster for Son of the Beach

FX 2000 - 2002 3 seasons 42 eps TV-14 Ended

Son of the Beach

2000 - 2002 3 seasons 42 eps TV-14

6.8

Season 3

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Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

25 min

S3 · E1 · Jun 18, 2002

Penetration Island Episode 1

Notch and the gang head to the Island of Bulimia by Tex Finklestein at ""UBM"" wanting higher ratings. When they get there, they are to play ""Penetration Island"", where the grand prize is $1,000,00. While everyone is being tempted or seducted by their temptress or temptor, Dirty Sanchez and his gang of Bulimians are on the island and start killing the temptors and temptresses, trying to get their island back. After being thought he was dead by everyone, Notch and an escaped Porcelain come to save the day as Dirty Sanchez is about to kill off SPF-30. Afterwards after Notch is shot by Sanchez and his gang, the scene is shown as a scripted part, then revealing that everyone is still alive.

6.8 · You

25 min

S3 · E2 · Jun 25, 2002

Saturday Night Queefer Episode 2

Johnny Queefer returns to town to take on his dreams of becoming a broadway star. Johnny dances at one point with Porcelain and drops her and she cuts open her breasts and all the saline squirts out. Because of this, Notch bans all dancing and Kimberlee quits the force because she feels that Notch's rule is unfair. Johnny still wants to persue his dreams of becoming a broadway dancer so he enters a contest and Kimberlee becomes his dance partner. Notch faces his past of dancing and teaches Johnny and Kimberlee some of his ""moves"" just before the contest so they can have a clear shot at winning. Only the guy who cheated Notch years ago has come back with his son to challenge Johnny, with Porcelain as his partner.

7.0 · You

25 min

S3 · E3 · Jul 2, 2002

In the Line of Booty Episode 3

Someone tries to kill rapper Larry ""Biggy"" Little, and Jamaica's new rapper boyfriend is blamed.

7.0 · You

25 min

S3 · E4 · Jul 9, 2002

Three Days of the Condom Episode 4

When Notch's gang finds out that B.J. has gone missing from her D.C. internship, the gang travels to D.C. to find her. Having almost given up, Notch and the SPF-30 finally get their BJ, who is alive but has amnesia and that she is pregnant. Notch questions her employer, Congressman George Bukaki, and soon his unit is embroiled in a government conspiracy. Back home, Chip must try to stop a purse-snatcher at the annual Lez-Aid Faire, where Porcelain is scheming to get famous by playing for the other team.

6.6 · You

25 min

S3 · E5 · Jul 16, 2002

Witness for the Prostitution Episode 5

Notch is honored at the State Univeristy College of Malibu Adjacent (S.U.C.M.A., home of the Cocks) with the opening of a lavatory science building named after him. But all is not well. After a lifeguard group therapy session (with Chappy as therapist!), Ellen comes in with the news that she's been fired from her job as house mother at the I Eta Pi sorority, where a sister named Tiffany recently committed suicide. Notch smells something fishy, and SPF-30 swings into action: Chip and B.J. accompany Ellen on a stakeout while Porcelain and Jamaica go undercover at the sorority as pledges. Sorority leader Mandy almost immediately offers Porcelain a job working for I Eta Pi's escort service, but she and Jamaica soon find out that the sorority is running a forced prostitution ring, with the knowledge and guidance of the university's Dean Faraday. Notch and the gang rescue the girls before they can be harmed.

6.8 · You

25 min

S3 · E6 · Jul 23, 2002

The Gay Team Episode 6

A villain named ""Heinous Anus"" (RuPaul) is making young men disappear from the beach, and they are all ending up in a place called ""Gaytrix"". Chip ends up being captured by Heinous Anus and taken to the Gaytrix so that he turn him gay and clone him. Notch's army buddy (Alan Thicke) knows where Chip is and how to get there and sends Notch to go after him. Meanwhile, Porcelain's marriage heats up because of a scheme thought up by B.J. and Jamaica.

6.6 · You

25 min

S3 · E7 · Jul 30, 2002

You Only Come Once Episode 7

Stinkfinger wants revenge on the people of the world because he didn't get workman's compensation because of an explosion that occured where he was working and he seeks revenge by trying to control the weather around the world. Notch's friend comes to help as Kimberlee, Porcelain, and Notch try to foil Stinkfinger's evil plan. Meanwhile, Jamaica finds out that her mom is a TV talkshow host named ""Okra"" and that she had abandoned Jamaica when she was little and wants her back. Later on, Okra becomes injured in a car accident caused by icy roads and Jamaica donates one of her kidneys to her so she can stay alive.

6.9 · You

25 min

S3 · E8 · Aug 6, 2002

Hamm Stroker's Suck My Blood Episode 8

When foreign lifeguards start getting killed at the Lifeguard of the Year Convention, Notch is forced to watch over his Israeli counterpart, Noccus Johnstein.

6.8 · You

25 min

S3 · E9 · Aug 13, 2002

Godfather Knows Best Episode 9

Jamaica is shocked when Vinnie Fellachio claims to be the father she has never known.

7.2 · You

25 min

S3 · E10 · Aug 20, 2002

Empty the Dragon Episode 10

Notch travels to Japan with Kimberlee, Chip and Porcelain for the Nagasaki Fried Chicken (NFC) Karaoke Championships. To Porcelain's dismay, the blonde Kimberlee gets all the attention from the press. Notch gets involved with Binaka, whose crazed vegetarian father has concocted a formula that turns a chicken into a giant beast which is rampaging through Tokyo. The giant chicken captures Kimberlee and things look grim when the Japanese troops prepare to blast the big animal, but Notch comes to the rescue. Also, Chip visits a geisha house, where he gets a big, unexpected surprise.

7.2 · You

25 min

S3 · E11 · Aug 27, 2002

The Long Hot Johnson Episode 11

Notch's old wet nurse Aunt Jizzy and company come to him with stories of Klan activity in South Malibu Adjacent and a scheme led by the notorious Bull Cracker to cheat them out of their homes. So Notch joins the all-white South Malibu Adjacent Country Club to find out the truth. But he doesn't make the smartest move by taking Jamaica along with him posing as his fiance! Bull and his boys are about to make a move on Notch, Jamaica and Kimberlee, but they are rescued by a couple of unlikely allies, Bull's wife Pussy Willow and Porcelain. Also, Chip and B.J. try to help out by going undercover as a married brother and sister.

6.8 · You

25 min

S3 · E12 · Sep 17, 2002

Taco Lips Now (1) Episode 12

In a flashback to Notch's war days, we see how his commanding officer Colonel Kooze ""improperly disposed of"" the village of Tam Pon. Kooze implores Notch to ""never tell"" about this atrocity. Later Notch sees the guilty colonel hanging from a tree, having apparently commited suicide. Back in the present, Notch's brother Harry Johnson has arrived at Malibu Adjacent. His secret past begins to catch up with Notch, and he is questioned by reporters about the incident at Tam Pon. This leads to his arrest, and as he's being taken into custody, Notch can hardly believe his eyes--in the distance he sees Col. Kooze! Also, Porcelain marries the decrepit old multi-millionaire Nick ""Snuggles"" Pappasmearos so she can inherit his money, but she'll have to contend with his family, including Nick Jr.

7.2 · You

25 min

S3 · E13 · Sep 24, 2002

Jailhouse Notch (2) Episode 13

Notch is convicted of the war crime and goes to jail, where he meets all sorts of unsavory characters, but soon he breaks out and begins his search for Colonel Kooze so he can clear his name. But there are some surprises back at Malibu Adjacent. Notch's brother Harry is working for Kooze, and part of their evil plan is for Harry to court and propose marriage to Kimberlee. Kimberlee falls for it and accepts Harry's proposal. Meanwhile a court rules against Porcelain and her claim on ""Snuggles'"" will, with the result being that she's now homeless.

7.2 · You

25 min

S3 · E14 · Oct 1, 2002

Bad News, Mr. Johnson (3) Episode 14

""Master of disguise"" Notch Johnson is on the run and he spends some time hiding out at Aunt Jizzy's, where he learns that Kooze and Harry have conspired to move up Harry and Kimberlee's wedding date to the next day. Kooze knows Notch will come when he hears this news and he plans to assassinate him at the wedding. Chip finds out he's in imminent danger of being deported. To avoid this, he convinces a reluctant Jamaica to marry him, which is a great shock to his ""Mootie"" and ""Poopie"" when they arrive for the wedding. Porcelain has now come up with a plan to seduce Nick Jr. into marriage so she can get her hands on the Pappasmearos fortune, so it looks like there's going to be a triple wedding at Malibu Adjacent. Notch sneaks into the SPF-30 headquaters looking for evidence against Kooze, but while he's looking, B.J. goes into labor. Notch helps to deliver her baby, after which the surprise identity of the father is revealed.

7.4 · You

14 episodes in Season 3

Some details come from TheTVDB.

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