Madame's Place

S1 · E1 · Sep 20, 1982

#001 Episode 1

Madame prepares for the latest taping of her syndicated TV talk show. At the end of this hectic day, Madame's niece Sara Joy arrives from their native Georgia, determined to crack show business and requesting that her aunt put her up until she does.

S1 · E2 · Sep 21, 1982

This is Her Past Episode 2

Sara Joy begins pounding the pavement in Hollywood; After being sawed in half by the world's most incompetent magician, Madame finds herself the surprise honoree on "This Is Your Life."

S1 · E3 · Sep 22, 1982

#003 Episode 3

A neighborhood boy whom Madame once babysat returns to visit her, but he has grown into a popular television evangelist. He tries to save Madame's soul while she tries to get him back in the bathtub.

S1 · E4 · Sep 23, 1982

#004 Episode 4

Bernadette books a ladies Dixie band on the show without Madame's approval; Buzz and Sara Joy submit Pinkerton's diary for publication, which divulges his long-ago affair with Madame. When the book sells, Pinkerton is torn between the generous cash advance and his loyalty to Madame.

S1 · E5 · Sep 24, 1982

#005 Episode 5

A rash of robberies in the neighborhood leads Madame to install a home security system. Unfortunately, as she's testing it out, a metal cage descends upon her from above and locks her in -- fifteen minutes before she's due on stage.

S1 · E6 · Sep 27, 1982

#006 Episode 6

No sooner does Solaria, a psychic, predict that Madame is fated to have a baby than a bundle of joy is found on the doorstep of the mansion.

S1 · E7 · Sep 28, 1982

#007 Episode 7

It's dueling divas when guest star Debbie Reynolds does a life-sized impression of Madame on the show; Sara Joy admits that the baby found on Madame's doorstep is hers, and the need to earn money leads her to accept a role in a pornographic film.

S1 · E8 · Sep 29, 1982

#008 Episode 8

Madame and Bernadette have a falling out after Solaria conducts a seance to make contact with Bernadette's deceased husband; Sara Joy reveals that she is not the true mother of the infant found on Madame's doorstep, and that she has been protecting the baby's real mother, a friend of hers from Dawson, Georgia.

S1 · E9 · Sep 30, 1982

#009 Episode 9

As the standoff between Madame and Bernadette rages on, the household falls into disarray; Sara Joy's friend Patty Sue takes ownership of the infant found on Madame's doorstep and heads back to Dawson, Georgia; on her show, Madame spotlights a Japanese comedienne who does uncanny impressions of Leslie Caron, Hermione Gingold, Katharine Hepburn, Sandra Dee and Shirley Temple.

S1 · E10 · Oct 1, 1982

#010 Episode 10

Madame and Bernadette reconcile, and the household returns to order -- until Madame becomes indisposed, at which point a scramble ensues to find a substitute host for that evening's show. With all of Tinseltown RSVP'd to a party hosted by Sammy Davis, Jr., Madame prepares Bernadette to take center stage.

S1 · E11 · Oct 4, 1982

#011 Episode 11

Concerned over Buzzy's adolescent crush on Sara Joy, Madame intervenes with the boy's self-involved show-biz parents, but her plan backfires when Buzzy runs away; Anthony Newley appears on Madame's show, where the two duet to "The Candy Man."

S1 · E12 · Oct 5, 1982

#012 Episode 12

After winning the Irish Sweepstakes, an eccentric, formerly homeless woman named Cora moves in next door to Madame. When the snooty neighbors protest, Madame goes the Pygmalion route to teach Cora how to behave like a lady of means.

S1 · E13 · Oct 6, 1982

#013 Episode 13

To boost ratings, Madame sponsors an on-air "Marry Madame" contest to find the man who will become her seventh husband; an extremely talkative Charles Nelson Reilly pays a visit to Madame's show, barely letting her get a word in edgewise.

S1 · E14 · Oct 7, 1982

#014 Episode 14

Bernadette, Pinkerton and Sara Joy take an instant dislike to Madame's new fiancé, but when Madame remains blind to his mercenary nature, they conspire to reveal his true colors.

S1 · E15 · Oct 8, 1982

#015 Episode 15

When Madame and con-man Dwayne Kellogg elope to Mexico, Pinkerton, Sara Joy and Bernadette spring into action to stop the wedding before it's too late; the outspoken Mr. Honest fills in for Madame on her show while she's away.

S1 · E16 · Oct 11, 1982

#016 Episode 16

Depressed and behaving erratically in the wake of her ruptured engagement to Dwayne Kellogg, Madame refuses professional help -- until Bernadette engages celebrity psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers; on her show, Madame introduces comics Fred Willard and Dave Workman.

S1 · E17 · Oct 12, 1982

#017 Episode 17

Dr. Joyce Brothers continues her in-depth analysis of Madame, which reveals a long-standing pattern of choosing the wrong men in her life; Pinkerton comes clean with Madame about his feelings for her, twenty-five years after their breakup.

S1 · E18 · Oct 13, 1982

#018 Episode 18

Against her better judgment, Madame allows a vitriolic reporter to follow her with a camera for a TV expose that completely misrepresents her; inebriated comic Foster Brooks unexpectedly wanders onto the stage of Madame's show.

S1 · E19 · Oct 14, 1982

#019 Episode 19

A famous Italian director asks Madame to appear in his latest film, which leads her to question staying in television; Madame spars with guest star Betty White on her show.

S1 · E20 · Oct 15, 1982

#020 Episode 20

Tab Hunter is interviewed by Madame in her eponymous talk show, and she confuses him with other famous 1950s heartthrob actors and cannot name any of his movies.

S1 · E21 · Oct 18, 1982

#021 Episode 21

Madame's neighbors launch a petition to prevent her from running her show on their street, and Madame finds an unlikely ally in an awkward, introverted inventor.

S1 · E22 · Oct 19, 1982

#022 Episode 22

A dip in Madame's ratings indicates that she has fallen out of touch with the youth market. Feeling past her prime, Madame goes punk and takes part in a youth protest.

S1 · E23 · Oct 20, 1982

#023 Episode 23

Madame decides the only way to recapture her beauty is to undergo cosmetic surgery. She and Pinkerton then concoct a ruse that will allow her recuperation time without anyone discovering what's she's done. In response, the household leaps to the conclusion that Madame is on her deathbed.

S1 · E24 · Oct 21, 1982

#024 Episode 24

Solaria tries to hypnotize Madame out of a debilitating bout of insomnia, which causes Madame to fall into a post-hypnotic trance while interviewing a prominent women's rights activist.

S1 · E25 · Oct 22, 1982

#025 Episode 25

When Barney is fired from "Madame's Place," his replacement is a cutting-edge Canadian producer whose run of controversial, adversarial guests nearly drives Madame off the air.

S1 · E26 · Oct 25, 1982

#026 Episode 26

Madame hosts a reunion for one of the 'Whoopie Girls' from her speakeasy days, but the down-on-her-luck former vaudevillian likes mansion living so much that she shows no signs of leaving; Madame welcomes fellow southerner Toni Tennille to the show, but all of her questions pertain solely to the Captain.

S1 · E27 · Oct 26, 1982

But Please, No Jokes Episode 27

After spending her life savings to record a single, Sara Joy quits her job to pursue a full-time singing career. When Madame rebukes her rash decision, her discouraged niece packs her bags and heads home to Georgia -- until Bernadette hears the record, which prompts Madame to introduce Sara Joy on her show.

S1 · E28 · Oct 27, 1982

#028 Episode 28

When Madame is chosen Woman of the Year by the Fine Arts Guild, Bernadette and Pinkerton move into damage control mode, as the Guild reserves the right to withdraw the nomination if the recipient behaves in an undignified manner. Once it commences, the award ceremony devolves into a bona fide roast of Madame.

S1 · E29 · Oct 28, 1982

#029 Episode 29

Sara Joy wants Madame to back the production of an esoteric play written by her untalented boyfriend from acting class; glamorous Eva Gabor guest stars on "Madame's Place," resulting in a fashionista duel between the two divas.

S1 · E30 · Oct 29, 1982

#030 Episode 30

A freak snowstorm brings Hollywood to its knees during sweeps week, forcing Madame to put her staff and family to work on that evening's show.

S1 · E31 · Nov 1, 1982

#031 Episode 31

Sara Joy hopes to make the Olympics gymnastics team; Madame's former producer sues her for firing him -- serving her subpoena through a dog act on the air -- but her longtime attorney appears to have entered senility.

S1 · E32 · Nov 2, 1982

#032 Episode 32

Sara Joy promotes the career of a juggling street performer; Madame's trial continues, with the plaintiff threatening blackmail with a videotape from her foray into pornography.

S1 · E33 · Nov 3, 1982

#033 Episode 33

Sara Joy takes the stand on Madame's behalf as the trial draws to a conclusion.

S1 · E34 · Nov 4, 1982

#034 Episode 34

When Sara Joy ends her courtship with a love-'em-and-leave-'em nude artist's model, Solaria sets her up with her nephew, Pee Wee Herman.

S1 · E35 · Nov 5, 1982

#035 Episode 35

Madame is paid a visit by her black sheep cousin Charley -- a man who transforms into Bette Davis whenever he hears the word 'trash.' When vacationing Pinkerton returns to the mansion, he falls for Charley in drag. Guest star: Charles Pierce

S1 · E36 · Nov 8, 1982

#036 Episode 36

Madame's sergeant nephew Lamar is temporarily re-stationed in Los Angeles, where he commandeers the mansion and puts the family through rigorous basic training; Frankie Avalon guest stars on Madame's show, where he shares his secrets for staying youthful.

S1 · E37 · Nov 9, 1982

#037 Episode 37

Madame defies network executives when she hires a handsome but inept new announcer over their more seasoned candidates.

S1 · E38 · Nov 10, 1982

#038 Episode 38

Madame invites her second husband and his new fiancée to lunch, then orders William Shatner off the set of her show when the Canadian actor cannot recite the United States national anthem.

S1 · E39 · Nov 11, 1982

#039 Episode 39

Madame hires a bargain basement interior designer who romances Bernadette to get a commercial deal on Madame's show.

S1 · E40 · Nov 12, 1982

#040 Episode 40

Believing the mansion is haunted, the household hires a local ghostbuster; Madame hosts comedian George Gobel on her show, and the two compete to see who has the worse memory.

S1 · E41 · Nov 15, 1982

#041 Episode 41

Madame continues efforts to banish the ghosts of Groucho and Harpo Marx, whose practical jokes from beyond have the household up in arms; heartthrob John Schneider promotes his latest film and record album on Madame's show.

S1 · E42 · Nov 16, 1982

#042 Episode 42

An old flame of Pinkerton's returns after 22 years to disclose that they have a son together; comedian Dick Shawn appears as a guest on Madame's show.

S1 · E43 · Nov 17, 1982

#043 Episode 43

Two teenagers from the Brooklyn chapter of Madame's fan club steal their way into the mansion -- and then refuse to leave; comedian Marty Allen appears on Madame's show.

S1 · E44 · Nov 18, 1982

#044 Episode 44

Defeated and disillusioned by her inability get a role in a major motion picture, Madame decides to retire, throwing her talk show into disarray.

S1 · E45 · Nov 19, 1982

#045 Episode 45

Pinkerton becomes addicted to a television soap opera; comedian Rip Taylor forces Madame to play straight man to him when he appears on her talk show.

S1 · E46 · Nov 22, 1982

#046 Episode 46

Sara Joy is hypnotized into becoming more assertive, which turns into her a completely different person; Arsenio Hall appears on Madame's show.

S1 · E47 · Nov 23, 1982

#047 Episode 47

When a fan letter berates her physical appearance, Madame hires a makeover consultant who prescribes a complete overhaul; comedian Fred Travalena guest stars on Madame's show.

S1 · E48 · Nov 24, 1982

#048 Episode 48

The household goes to extremes to raise funds when the media reports that Madame is bankrupt; comedian Scatman Crothers guest stars on Madame's talk show.

S1 · E49 · Nov 25, 1982

#049 Episode 49

An extraterrestrial steals into the mansion with the objective of "melding" with Madame so he can bring comedy back to his planet.

S1 · E50 · Nov 26, 1982

#050 Episode 50

A bumbling inspector takes charge after Madame's iconic, life-size portrait is stolen.

S1 · E51 · Nov 29, 1982

#051 Episode 51

While Pinkerton is on vacation, his twin brother, an uncultivated biker named Chopper, drops in to pay his respects. Actor-singer Jerry Reed guest stars.

S1 · E52 · Nov 30, 1982

#052 Episode 52

Madame is audited by the Internal Revenue Service, which becomes sticky when Mr. Honest shows up to throw light on every white lie she tells.

S1 · E53 · Dec 1, 1982

#053 Episode 53

Mr. Honest seeks Madame's help in ferreting out the identity of his secret admirer; comedienne Alice Ghostley visits Madame's show, revealing their long-standing rivalry after decades of competing for the same roles.

S1 · E54 · Dec 2, 1982

His Biggest Dream Episode 54

Feeling his midlife crunch, Pinkerton accepts an offer to train an up-and-coming female prizefighter. Final episode of series.

S1 · E55 · Dec 3, 1982

#055 Episode 55

S1 · E56 · Jan 31, 1983

#056 Episode 56

S1 · E57 · Feb 1, 1983

#057 Episode 57

S1 · E58 · Feb 2, 1983

#058 Episode 58

S1 · E59 · Feb 3, 1983

#059 Episode 59

S1 · E60 · Feb 4, 1983

#060 Episode 60

S1 · E61 · Feb 7, 1983

#061 Episode 61

S1 · E62 · Feb 8, 1983

#062 Episode 62

S1 · E63 · Feb 9, 1983

#063 Episode 63

S1 · E64 · Feb 10, 1983

#064 Episode 64

S1 · E65 · Feb 11, 1983

#065 Episode 65

S1 · E66 · Feb 14, 1983

#066 Episode 66

S1 · E67 · Feb 15, 1983

#067 Episode 67

S1 · E68 · Feb 16, 1983

#068 Episode 68

S1 · E69 · Feb 17, 1983

#069 Episode 69

S1 · E70 · Feb 18, 1983

#70 Episode 70

S1 · E71 · Feb 21, 1983

#071 Episode 71

S1 · E72 · Feb 22, 1983

#072 Episode 72

S1 · E73 · Feb 23, 1983

#073 Episode 73

S1 · E74 · Feb 24, 1983

#074 Episode 74

S1 · E75 · Feb 25, 1983

#075 Episode 75