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A pro-life woman goes to prison for burning down a clump of bricks, conservative women in bikinis cause the biggest political controversy of Christmastide, and Maine becomes the second state to kick Trump off the ballot.

Harvard’s plagiarist president resigns in disgrace, Mickey Mouse becomes a serial killer, and libs celebrate as Poland’s new left-wing government silences the press.

The highly anticipated new court documents in the Jeffrey Epstein case underwhelm, the first virtual rape case in metaverse is underway, and Conservatives pounce on Harvard president according to the AP.

A reportedly trans-identifying man shoots up a school, Trump appeals his removal from the ballot to the Supreme Court, and a liberal politician refuses to pledge an oath of allegiance to the Constitution.

Aliens invade America, a Miami shopping mall breaks the Internet, and we commemorate the anniversary of jAnUaRy SiXtH!

Tensions flare after cops discover a secret Jewish tunnel in Brooklyn, a Republican secretary of state threatens to kick Biden off the ballot, and a Jeffrey Epstein accuser makes titillating accusations.

A suspected fed gets sentenced for jAnUaRy SiXtH, an Epstein accuser recants her recantation, and a Zoomer girl complains about having to work.

The Chris-aissance is dead, Trump picks a running mate, and a Democrat congress-lady accuses the Donald of inciting an erection.

Democrat senator John Fetterman calls attention to white genocide in South Africa, a female teacher allegedly sleeps with a teenage student, and DEI makes it all the way to the most elite, shadowy secret societies.

Gender Dysphoria diagnoses go up in every single state except for one, the Iowa caucuses are upon us, and President Trump finally turns on Vivek Ramaswamy.

Trump wins Iowa, Vivek Ramaswamy makes a major announcement for his campaign, and the reportedly drag queen CEO of United Airlines is pushing DEI into the cockpit. What could go wrong?

ABC News cancels the next Republican primary debate, Bernie Sanders comes out against the liberal idea of "equity", and pro-terrorism porn lady Mia Khalifa goes viral for being insulted by a supposed fan.

The World Economic Forum invites an actual witch to Davos, the Fulton County DA who's prosecuting Donald Trump gets caught in a major scandal that could throw the whole case out of court, and I am named the most canceled speaker of the year for 2023.

The libs try to get us all to take part in orgies, President Trump floats some options in the veepstakes, and our friend Jordan Peterson gets sentenced to a reeducation camp.

DeSantis drops out, Ukraine imprisons and kills an American journalist, and only 19% of Millennials definitely want kids.

The Supreme Court stops Texas from trying to stop mass illegal immigration, Elon calls DEI “anti-semitic” at Auschwitz, and Nikki Haley plays the race card.

President Trump wins the New Hampshire primary, the New York Post shocks the world by reporting that a woman is pregnant, and Chuck Schumer is coming for your Zyn pouches.

The Congressional Budget Office announces Biden let 6.2 million illegals into the U.S., Amazon makes Satan the good guy in a new cartoon, and Jon Stewart returns to The Daily Show.

Taylor Lorenz whines about the collapse of MSM, RNC committeeman proposes declaring Trump presumptive nominee, and Taylor Swift gets bombarded with naughty AI images.

A new poll shows 1/5 of voters would likely vote for who Taylor Swift tells them to, Climate wackos throw soup on Mona Lisa, and a new episode of Law and Order features a woman who refuses to press charges on her rapist because of white privilege.

Democrat congresslady Ilhan Omar vows to put Somalia first, 69% of voters side with Texas over Joe Biden, and Anne Hathaway wants to debunk heteronormativity.

A federal court just found six pro-lifers guilty for peacefully protesting and might sentence them to 11 years in prison, conservatives unwisely are going to war with Taylor Swift, and Elon Musk is going to turn us all into cyborg robots.

The top German official tasked with investigating right-wing extremism is now being investigated for right-wing extremism, the liberals are probing the psychology of Trump supporters to figure out what's gone wrong in our heads to make us vote for the mean orange man, and Elmo breaks Twitter.

150 Democrats vote to get drunk illegal aliens on the roads, Sunny Hostin says most Americans are racists, and there may have been an attempted coup at the White House and of course the legacy media doesn't seem to care.

A Bronx family court judge attempts to swing with a woman whose case she is adjudicating, a "racial justice advocate" claims that showing up on time is an act of white supremacy, and the U.S. strikes Iranian targets in Iraq and Syria.

Target bungles Black History Month, CNN changes its tune on illegal aliens, and a New York court rules a dad can’t stop his 8 year old child from getting transed.

Joe Biden talks to dead people, an appeals court rules against Trump, and Ice Spice releases the anthem of our time.

Democrat Senator extols the virtue of Satanism on the floor of AZ State Senate, a Missouri Secretary of State candidate vows to burn LGBT books, and Disney considers a black woman to replace Johnny Depp in next Pirates of the Caribbean.

Special Counsel says Joe BIden is basically unfit to stand trial, Tucker Carlson interviews Vladimir Putin, and Clarence Thomas destroys lib “insurrection” lawyer.

The Super Bowl has more controversies in the commercials than in the game, Democrats call for swapping out Biden, and Mo’nique complains she’d be more famous if she were white.

Brave Harvard students skip lunch in solidarity with Palestinians, JD Vance finds “impeachment time bomb” in the Ukraine bill, and a reportedly transgender immigrant shoots up Joel Osteen’s congregation.

A white liberal brags about importing her new help, The House impeaches Mayorkas, the hens on The View claim Trump literally wants WWIII.

Vladimir Putin endorses Joe Biden, Rachel Dolezal loses her teaching job over her OnlyFans account, and an AI-powered app now allows you to talk to your ex after she's dumped you.

Trump prosecutor Fani Willis delivers belligerent testimony in her own defense, Joe Biden's VA initiative aims to diagnose more Black veterans as mentally disabled, and a man discovers he's the father of 97 children.

Members of the 'Blood Tribe' march for the master race and Joe Biden, Ann Coulter showcases her superpower on Bill Maher, and Assistant Health Secretary Richard Levine warns that global warming is racist.

Jon Stewart explains why ugly and disgusting subways are the cost of freedom, 65-year-old Madonna falls off chair at a concert, and Nikki Haley vows to stay in race.

Google's new AI chatbot erases white people, New York's Democrat Attorney General tries to take away all of Donald Trump's properties, and Illinois Democrats try to take away your kids.

Biden HQ comes after me for agreeing with Joe Biden, Trump says Russia defeated Hitler, and a nationwide cell phone outage sparks conspiracies.

Republicans learn a very important lesson in the South Carolina primary, comedian Shane Gillis shows a huge difference between the right and the left when he makes some jokes about mental handicaps on Saturday Night Live, and a member of the United States Air Force lights himself on fire outside of the Israeli Embassy to protest the war in the Middle East.

A Biden admin allegedly planted an operative in the Fulton County DA office to get Trump, Joy Reid asks why do we need more kids, and Nikki Haley signals the end may be near.

Mary Poppins is racist according to the left, the pride flag gets banned in TN classrooms, and Trump wins Michigan.

After nearly 40 years in the Senate Cocaine Mitch steps down, Millennials become the richest generation in history, and a bunch of white women dancing at a gas station break the whole internet.

A new book claims that white rural rage is the greatest threat to democracy. Mitt Romney admits that all the money we're sending to Ukraine is not actually going to change the outcome of the war. And President Trump has a new nickname for Gavin Newsom. Check it out on the Michael Knowles Show.

The FBI arrests a conservative reporter over “January Sixth” reporting, Google is desperately trying to fix their AI bot's leftism, and the Biden White House coins a new euphemism for illegal aliens.

The Supreme Court rules unanimously to put Trump back on the Colorado primary ballot, Nikki Haley wins her first primary, and new study finds that Haitian oregano increases the risk of heart attack and stroke.

The Biden administration goes to Plan C for its 2024 campaign, RFK Jr. eyes the Libertarian Party nomination, and feminist Judith Butler weighs in on Israel-Palestine.

Nikki Haley ends her campaign, Fox News cuts away from a woman saying she wouldn’t vote for a woman, and scientists might bring the woolly mammoth back to life.

A prison reform advocate is charged with murder and accused of stashing a human head in a freezer. Meanwhile, our Climate Czar is calling for the Russian military to reduce its emissions. Plus, I'll share what it was like at the State of the Union.

Biden apologizes for calling an illegal alien murderer an “illegal”, RuPaul's "all-Inclusive" bookstore bans conservative books, and the Irish overwhelmingly reject woke sex stuff in a constitutional referendum.

A lib journalist on CNN says Biden should call Trump a bunch of bad names, the Palestine Action group destroys a painting of Lord Arthur Balfour at Cambridge, and the University of Wisconsin-Madison is trying to shut down my talk on campus.

A right-wing former member of Parliament in Belgium has been imprisoned over spicy memes that he sent to a private group chat, the UK has started to stop trans-ing the kids, and the 2024 race in America might come down to TikTok.

House Republicans call Hunter Biden’s bluff, Joy Reid says Trump stacked bodies on the ground during COVID, and nearly 30% of Zoomer girls identify as LGBTQ.

America's evil tophat gives life sentences for social media posts, The Vice President visits an abortion mill, and Zoomer Dems worry the TikTok ban could hurt Biden.

Willie Nelson releases a new song defending the Border Patrol, the liberal Washington Post thinks Kamala Harris should step down for the good of the country, and Advil's new campaign argues that pain is racist.

The liberal media spin wild lies about President Trump's "bloodbath" comments, Chuck Scumer calls for the Israeli Prime Minister to step down, and a new study discovers that liberals are insane.

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Joe Biden celebrates the Trans Day of Visibility on Easter, Beyonce rewrites the Dolly Parton classic "Jolene" due to her total misunderstanding of men and women, and Free Palestine lunatics interrupt the Vigil Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City.

The world’s most famous living atheist now calls himself a “cultural Christian,” Joe Biden begs for Nikki Haley support, and sociopaths become the newest identity group craze.

Amazon's futuristic "Just Walk Out" retail technology just turns out to be a bunch of Indians looking at computer screens, President Trump uses the UNO reverse card on his "bloodbath" quote, and Hillary Clinton tells young voters to get over themselves.

The Atlantic reports doctors will now inquire about gun ownership, Pete Buttigieg compares opposing electric vehicles to favoring landlines over cell phones, and a priestess celebrates Trans Day of Visibility.

The Biden administration bans menthols and loses black votes, an egg donor wishes happy birthday to her abandoned child, and the libs try to convince us that non-alcoholic drinks are all the rage!

Libs in Utah shriek and scream about my speech there tonight, NYC pays millions for making Muslim criminals remove their hijabs, and P. Diddy might be the new Jeffrey Epstein.

The View's Sunny Hostin blames climate change for the solar eclipse, President Trump announces his new abortion policy, and Pope Francis destroys transgender ideology with faith and facts and logic.

The Biden administration announces student loan giveaways in order to buy support, the moon is made up mostly of gasses according to Democrat Congressman Sheila Jackson Lee, and Sound Investigations uncovers how the feds entrap conservatives.

Democrats are shocked that the 160-year-old abortion ban is - gasp - enforceable! Whoopi whips out the classic lib talking point that Republicans want to bring back slavery, and the UK is considering banning smartphones for minors under 16 - and I’m fully on board.

The Juice is loose from his mortal coil, NBC interviews the creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti from prison, and President Trump says Jews who vote for Biden should have their heads examined.

Iran attacks Israel, potentially sending us into World War III, and Republicans squish on abortion, which Bill Maher admits is murder.

The trial of President Trump begins, an Assyrian Orthodox Bishop was stabbed during the church service, and a blonde substitute teacher was arrested after sleeping with her 17 year old student.

European authorities shut down a mainstream conservative gathering, Democrat congressmen refuse to condemn flag burning and "death to America" chants, and a 16-year-old high school student is suspended for writing the term "illegal alien."

President Trump campaigns at a bodega in Harlem, Illegal aliens complain about all the free stuff they're getting in New York, and an Indianapolis judge finds a woman not guilty for smothering her child to death while high on meth.

Joe Biden asks voters to choose freedom over democracy, a Spanish politician resigns after videos show him doing something disgusting, and the Kennedy family endorses Biden over their own flesh and blood.

Congress sends a bunch of money overseas, Biden claims his uncle was eaten by cannibals, and black people are supposedly terrified by eco-anxiety.

A Democrat congressman tries to strip President Trump of his Secret Service protection, a non-binary patient from Florida undergoes "Barbie surgery," and the national IQ drops for the first time in a century.

AI can now predict a person's political orientation, Kari Lake reaffirms her pro-life position, and cops in riot gear clear away leftist wackos on Yale's campus.

An NYU protester doesn’t know why she’s protesting, Fox airs an anti-Trump advertisement, and Kanye West might start a company for adult content.

Mike Johnson shows up to Columbia over anti-Israel protests, a lib Judge could send Trump to jail for 30 days for violating a gag order, and Joe Biden says he used to drive an 18-wheeler.

South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem shoots her dog, Russell Brand gets baptized, and an app predicts when you'll die and how rich you'll be.

Libs are angry at conservatives for having kids, cops clear weirdo protesters from a woke college, and Biden signs a bill to ban TikTok.

Gluttonous guerrillas demand snacks at Columbia University, Joe Biden bans TikTok, and President Trump condemns anti-white racism.

Police shut down the campus intifada, House Republicans censor the Bible, and Chris Pratt gets in trouble for knocking down an ugly house.

Joe Biden condemns campus protests after they are already shut down, Jeff Goldblum says he won’t leave money to kids, and a Mexican senator ritually sacrifices chicken to a demon tasked with producing rain.

Luke Skywalker takes over a White House press briefing, a Mexican senator sacrifices a chicken to a demon, South Dakota governor Kristi Noem might have met with Kim Jong Un.

Judge Merchan in New York threatens to send President Trump to jail, celebrities gather to roast Tom Brady on Netflix, and the trad life gathers new disciples.

The governor of New York says black kids don’t know the word “computer", Stormy Daniels takes the stand against President Trump, and a viral video claims not wanting to date fat people is bigoted.

Hillary Clinton's Broadway musical bombs at the box office, Stormy Daniels blows up the Trump trial, and gender theorist Judith Butler calls me a fascist in her new book.

RFK Jr. endorses abortion up until birth, Apple releases a very creepy iPad commercial, and the Princeton lib hunger strikers cry about the hunger strike.

President Trump draws a massive crowd in liberal New Jersey, Seinfeld triggers graduates at his Duke speech, and Jennifer Lawrence calls Mike Pence gay.

Minnesota changes its flag to look suspiciously Somalian, Canada's anti-Catholic witch hunt turns up nothing, and a San Francisco teacher goes viral for saying Israel and the US have no right to exist.

Democrats oppose a bill that stops illegals from voting, a robot gives a university commencement speech, and a portal between New York and Dublin goes horribly wrong.

Joe Biden agrees to debate President Trump, the Left attacks NFL kicker Harrison Butker for giving the greatest college commencement speech of my lifetime, and the new stars of the Planet of the Apes movie say they side with apes over humans.

The NIH admits it funded gain of function research in Wuhan, NBC launches a show about “queer” animals, and The View attacks Catholicism.

The Iranian President dies in a helicopter crash, Marco Rubio endorses mass deportation, and a woman wrestles a peeping tom in a gender-neutral changing room.

Cori Bush proposes a new law honoring a criminal, rat lawyer Michael Cohen admits to stealing money from President Trump, and Pope Francis says people are fundamentally good in an interview with 60 Minutes.

Zelensky refuses to give up power in Ukraine, a new poll shows that 61% of Americans support the mass deportation of illegal aliens, and the Baltimore Board of Elections supervisor warns of fraud.

New documents reveal that the FBI was authorized to use deadly force at the Mar-a-Lago raid, a lib loses it over seeing American flags on the beach, and daily pot smoking outpaces daily drinking.

President Trump holds a rally in the South Bronx, Leftist attack dog Media Matters fires a bunch of staffers, and Joe Biden cancels $7 billion in student loans to buy votes.